9.04.2009

EXCLUSIVE Global Grind Blog: 31 yrs later.....Can GG help me find my father?


I need your help....this is serious business and a personal endeavor.

Today (September 4) I turned 31 years of age....like many of you reading this blog I don't know who my biological father is.

First, I am grateful to God for my mother who was the vessel that brought me forth into this world. She is my hero and this morning she told me "You have turned out to be more than anyone could have imagined". I smiled.

But there has been something eating away at me for the last few years. I didn't know how to go about doing it nor did I have the consistent desire to want to know. Because it felt irrelevant. But now I do. I have to know....I want to find out WHICH man is my father.

I say 'which' because my mother shared with me that she was in between relationships with two men when she found out she was pregnant with me. Stop, please don't judge my mother and don't think this blog is an embarrassment to her. She agreed that I share this and she agreed to help bring closure to this not just for me but for her as well....maybe you can help too. Read on.

7 comments:

  1. I wish you the best of luck! Ordering the death certificate may be a step in the right direction. You can buy them online for about $35 (though this may vary state to state). The death certificate will probably have names of relatives on there, and it would make it easier to track them down. You look so much like your mom that it's hard to say if you look like Joe or not! If you find a blood relative of his, you could maybe get a DNA test with them, but I understand that may be awkward. You are a kind soul and I hope you find what you're looking for.

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  2. Congrats on your Bday. And much success on your voyage to find your father. That was real brave of you and your mother. Thanks for keeping it real respectful for the sisters out there

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  3. ASA, My brother I am so excited that you have decided to go after this and find out who he really is. I am not too sure of what I can do to assist in that, but you are my brother and I will do whatever I can to make something happen.

    May Allah bless you with success

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  4. I feel you brother. I got pregnant when I was 15 years old, gave birth at the age of 16. Despite my parents wishes, I did not give my baby up for adoption. I never contacted her father to tell him about his baby girl. I did my best to rear her by myself, then when I turned 30 I met my husband and he became her surrogate father. Personally, based on my own life, I felt that fathers were overrated and I never once considered that my daughter needed to know her real father. Last year I had a haunting dream and could not rest until I looked for him. I spent around $40 and found him on the net. I wrote him two letters and it took him approximately 2 months to call me. Then he refused to meet her until a DNA test was done. He claims that his wife and daughter insisted on the DNA, but he knew all along that the child (now 39 years old) was his. He paid $500 plus for the DNA test, which came back 99.9 percent he was the father. They have been in contact for almost one year, and it has been a long, rocky, painful road. He and his family are well off financially, and my daughter probably wonders "what it." When dealing with human emotions, there is no script. So I wish you the best, and hope you can find closure. And remember to always seek refuge in Allah.
    Sis. Lita

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  5. Brother Jesse, Happy Birthday Sweetheart. I think you look like your Mom you both have a beautiful smile. I may be of no help but I felt I had to comment because of my story. My father passed a few months after I was born, my Mother normally a very strong person didn't handle it very well and didn't talk about Daddy much because it hurt her so much. Well she died just as I was entering my teens and all I really had were bits and pieces of information on my Father. My brothers and sisters all followed .I miss them all. Well There I was 40 some odd years later with a dog who's ancestry I could go back 10 generations on but barely 2 on myself. I started a genealogy on the info I had. I did the majority of my search on Ancestry.com, you can get Joe's death certificate from the state records of the state that he died in, and his application for his social security card which is REALLY COOL ! It is called the Social Security Death Index. It has so much information. I know it sounds like you wouldn't be able to get this info but if you're trying to find your people they send things right out (for a small fee). Well now I can trace part of my family to 1818, and another part to 1800. I doubt that we are related however my father's grandfather was named John McCray. I have found nothing on him yet. If you need more info on how to do these searches, i geuss you can contact me at myspace/ssense21 and we can talk from there Good Luck, Syl

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  6. May Allah bless you in your journey.

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  7. Hey this is a nice article and God bless you..
    ==============
    Ema
    Find Attorney

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