11.05.2009

Part 6 of Black Women in America Raising Boys : "Nothing New But Definitely No Easy Task"

By Alicia Jackson

When I was first approached about being a part of this documentary, I was somewhat surprised.

My mindset was that what I was doing was a common thing so surely it did not warrant much discussion, let alone a full documentary. I quickly found out that even though it was a common thing, the world deserved to hear , first hand, a single mother's story.

I have two boys and two girls, Since they are twins, I have one of each for two different age brackets so I get the best of both worlds at all times. Rearing them from birth to early adolescence was easy. Just provide food, clothing and shelter right? WRONG ! I also had to provide character foundation, values / morals and education (formal and informal). Every day I have the opportunity to see the vast differences in the needs and demands of raising girls and those of raising boys.

I have now begun my uphill battle to turn my boys into young men. I know I must incorporate all my resources because this journey can not be fully successful if I go it alone. I know most may argue my next point but I know I can not teach my boys how to be MEN. I can give them everything in me to make them productive, respectful, law abiding, God fearing members of society. I can wipe their tears and comfort them when they are missing their father.

I can provide them with most things that are essential to living but I can not give them the MAN THING because I do not have it. Therefore, unlike many of my counterparts, I will ask for help. I am blessed to have positive male role models who I can call on to assist me in making my BOYS journey to MANHOOD a smooth and successful one. But what about the sister who doesn't ?

I am happy to have had the opportunity to share my story. I am looking forward to helping the world better understand the mind of single mothers and our struggle. It is a struggle indeed.

Photo of Alicia Jackson by Hannibal Muhammad

8 comments:

  1. Amazing blog! Brother Jesse this entire series has been wonderful!!!

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  2. I applaud all single mothers.

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  3. I wish I was in Houston to see tha documentary! Please bring it to LA!

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  4. Wonderful series Brother Jesse!!!! I look forward to reading more.

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  5. Thank you all for the feedback! I will be Tweeting live from the documentary tonight!!! This series will continue until the end of the month. And Brother Deric will be going on tour soon with the documentary. Stay plugged in!

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  6. I truly applaud these women. We as men need to step it up for real and real quick!

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  7. It's funny because we as woman sometimes can get so caught up in our own emotional drama, we fell to realize the importance of having fathers in our children's lives. I can so say because at one point I was not allowing my son to see his father because he wasn't there like I wanted him to be. Many can downplay and say that's immature, but it's not uncommon. We as females don't realize that when we are upset and withhold our children, whether boy or girl, it affects the children. So before I comment on the documentary, let me say WOMEN IF YOU HAVE A MAN WHO WANTS TO BE APART OF THEIR CHILDRENS LIVES, ESPECIALLY BOYS...LET THEM. Dealing with the consequences of having a fatherless man child will be far worst that the emotional issues you have with that man. Being said that, I am a single mother of three children and just as Ms. Alicia, I am doing what I have to do because I love them and they are apart of me, so I just do it. The first thing my mother told me after I had my first born, who happens to be my son, that my life was going to change, my life would now revolve around him...and boy was she right. I appreciate the documentary because it gave me insight as to other ways I can provide for my son, that I wasn't. I don't mean food, housing, or clothing either. I am talking about the other necessity in a young man's life...a positive male figure. Thank you guys so much for caring about us as single black mothers, we need more guidence....and less welfare because this is something their offices just don't offer. Excellent job I look forward to many others and again, thank you Bro. Deric for all your hardwork and love.

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