by Jennifer Scott
2009 was the year that brought my thirty-seven year wait to meet my biological father to an end. Until then my life was spent meditating on him, wondering who he was and what he looked liked; wondering if he even knew about me and if I would ever see this man who created me.
I spoke of him to a few close people in my life sharing my desire to know where I came from and who part of me was. I had no idea if or how my dream would come true. I hadn’t a notion of where he was or who might know of him except my mother who also knew nothing. I spent countless nights imagining his face and what our first encounter might feel like without evidence that there could ever be a first encounter. Nevertheless something inside me quietly held tightly to the hope that someday it would happen. I had a feeling of confidence that I would certainly know who my father is before I left this world. I don’t know why or how I knew. I just did. And for thirty-seven years I waited patiently.
In March 2009 my wait was over. I received a message from my mother’s brother saying he needed to speak to me urgently. I’ve known my uncle my entire life and we were never close to each other and this was the only time that he had ever contacted me directly. It didn’t take long before I concluded, without yet speaking to my uncle, that the only thing this call could be about is my father. The same quiet voice in me that assured me this day would come was now telling me that the day has arrived. I was right!
It was another month after the initial call from my uncle that I actually connected with my father by phone. When I saw the Jamaican area code on my phone screen I knew it was him. I took a very deep breath and answered. Our first conversation was unlike anything I had imagined; no tears or heavy emotions. In a bizarre way, speaking to my father for the first time after thirty-seven years didn’t feel strange at all. In fact it felt more like we’d always known each other. We immediately fell into conversation where I learned about my four siblings and thirteen aunts and uncles. We communicated for months by phone until I visited Jamaica in October to look into my father’s eyes.
When I did, I found myself and I found love.
2009 taught me an extraordinary lesson about faith. After meeting my father and looking back over the years of longing for that moment, I realized that during my waiting period I had in me a love for this man, who I never knew, simply because he was part of me; through this love my faith was unshakeable. I knew I would meet him and I did. EVERYTHING is possible!
>>My Most Memorable Moment of 2009: I found my biological father…he’s deceased. But lives in me.