Some Relationship Essentials (Part 1): "Be That Which You Want to Attract"

by Willie Muhammad

Peace family. I am not a big fan of reading long blogs and discussions about relationships can be very extensive. So in order to not violate my own personal preference I want to write as much as I can about what I consider Relationship Essentials, using as few words as possible. While doing so I pray that what is written is found to be beneficial.

1 – The God Connection. The Hon. Louis Farrakhan once said, “Neither male nor female can fulfill their relationships to each other until they are first properly connected to the source of all creation, which is God… It is our disconnection from God that is at the root of failing and improper relationships between man and woman.” When asked about the key to success in his own marriage the Minister attributed the success to God and said the following, “First, the love of Allah has to be uppermost in our hearts and mind. This allows us to struggle with our strengths and weaknesses to become one."

2 – Learn About the Natures of Men and Women. There is so much research that shows how the nature of men and women influences how we talk, how we listen, how we handle stress and what needs to be done to help us feel appreciated and emotionally fulfilled. When we are ignorant of these differences we are setting ourselves up for destruction, as mentioned by the Hon. Louis Farrakhan. “The natures of male and female are different, but they are meant to complement each other. In the absence of knowledge, the different natures of male and female can work destructively against the self and against the union of both.” Some good places to begin are lectures by the Minister. In addition to those I would suggest the reading of Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus series written by John Gray. His books further explain the differences in our natures.

3 – Evaluate YOURSELF in past relationships. What do I mean? Reflect on all of the relationships you have been in. Then write down everything that you did or didn’t do that contributed to the failure of that relationship. Don’t write down anything about what the other person did. This is about you. Once you have done so, see if any of those qualities, thought patterns and behaviors are still a part of you. This is important because old habits that have not been addressed will return to ruin new relationships.

4 – Be That Which You Want to Attract. I have heard people say, “They want someone who is honest, trustworthy, punctual and expressive.” Yet they don’t reflect what they desire in a mate. For some it’s hard to believe that we attracted those people we had negative relationships with. This point is also connected to point 3.

5 – Don’t Wait. The Hon. Elijah Muhammad said that everything we need to know can be found in a book. With that being the case, why don’t we invest the time to learn from the research and the experience of others as it relates to this very critical aspect of our lives? For example, the Hon. Louis Farrakhan has done numerous lectures on the subjects of male/female relationships, the principles of courtship and marriage. However, there are people within our Nation who have entered into or desire to enter into relationships, courtships and marriages and have not done more than a casual listening or viewing of any of his lectures. Such behavior is a formula for failure.

Look forward to your reading feedback.

(Student Minister Willie Muhammad is the New Orleans representative of the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan and Nation of Islam. Follow him on Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/BroWM46)

Related Posts in this Series:
Marriage and family are essential to the survival of any people and any nation (7.15.2011)


  1. ASA Bro Willie, this article is on time! I look forward to the next one!

  2. This brother is on point.

  3. "For some it’s hard to believe that we attracted those people we had negative relationships with"


    Man that's soooooo true Minister Willie. Dang, I need to examine myself more because me and my wife going through hell these days!

  4. @John re-read point #3 and go get those books.

  5. So much wisdom in such a succinct and concise way! I will definitely be blowing the dust off of the books you mentioned above and others. Thanks for sharing Bro. Willie

  6. Brother Willie:
    You are so point. I was just listening to the Minister's lecture, "A Nation Can Rise No Higher Than Its Woman" and reading an article entitled "Attract the Love of Your Life." In summary, both were stating that we deserve to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated. We are to understand why we want an intimate relationship and Allah's purpose in that which we seek. We will attract what we are and we need to fill the void in our lives before we attract (ask for a helpmeet). If we are a God-centered person who loves themselves, is inspirational, uplifting, joyful, we will attract that to us. I call it the boomerang effect, we are only getting returned to us that which we have sent out. Thus, we must look at ourselves and cast off that which does not reflect Allah (For example, old toxic relationships, negativity about self and others). If we look in the mirror to see what we are reflecting, we may be shocked by what we see.
    Thanks so much for sharing.


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